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Hey Contrarians,

A partnership can be really, really powerful.

Also REALLY hard.

It’s true for business relationships – and even truer for marriages.

They say every partnership should begin with the end in mind, but I’ve learned there’s a little more to it than that…

Today in 10 minutes or less, you’ll learn:

✔️ Financial dangers of the D-word

✔️ “Til death do us part” means something must die…

✔️ 12 rules I follow for a better marriage

FINANCIAL DANGERS OF THE D-WORD

Fun fact:

The average wedding in the US costs $30,000 per couple according to this 2022 study.

How about the cost of divorce? Median is $7k, average is $15k, and contested divorces with lots of issues run up closer to $100k+.

Children with divorced parents are twice as likely to drop out of high school.

Teenagers whose parents divorce are more likely to experience mental health issues.

Listen, though. I get it. I went through a divorce. I’m not shaming anyone, sometimes sh*t happens. BUT it’s a lot of cash and strain.

I started thinking about marriage and why I think not only is divorce worth avoiding generally but it’s also awful for your finances.

So let’s tackle some ideas to help you continue to say, “I do.”

“TIL DEATH DO US PART” MEANS SOMETHING MUST DIE…

Flashback: I’m married to a handsome man, with a beautiful house, country club, fancy cars, and friends who look like they’re on the Real Housewives. But tonight, I’m walking into the living room as the sun sets to break the heart of the man I promised forever.

He’s far from perfect, but I’m sure I was too. Besides, in this moment, all I feel is agony.

I speak softly, “It’s not working.” Deep breath. “I want a divorce, and… I’m moving out tonight.”

As soon as the words leave my mouth, I see all 6ft 210lbs of him crumple to the ground, sobbing. It is an awful thing to watch someone strong break. I have never felt greater guilt and shame than in that moment. With eyes so blurry I can barely see, I leave empty-handed out the front door of the “house” I just finished decorating into a home.

I spent the night sleepless and alone. When I told my mother, she also cried. Tears, that’s all I had to give.

I never shared all the hardness in that marriage, it was my burden to carry. But I also didn’t quite realize that moment would change my life forever. I left a man, a city, all my things and eventually a career I’d spent more than a decade building.

I had to lose everything – including the person I was – to become the person I wanted.

Some cliches are true, deals are easy to get into but damn hard to get out of.

Today: Things look a little different. I’m remarried to a man who is disgustingly perfect for me. Don’t tell him, but the best thing about my life is the partnership I have with my husband. It’s far from perfect, yet damn is it delicious for us.

I wrote a letter to myself of the rules I thought kept us in love and in marriage. It’s a reminder for me and maybe helpful for you.

12 RULES I FOLLOW FOR A BETTER MARRIAGE

Rule #1: Shared goals

Bruce Paltrow put it best. When asked how he and his wife stayed together so long, he famously said: “We never wanted to get divorced… at the same time.”

Rule #2: Never ever use the D-word

We have a list of off-the-table words:

• Hate.
• Divorce.
• Leaving.

Those three. They’re just not an option. Because when you let them out just a little bit, they take over the place. We chose each other. That means (hopefully) till death do us part.

Rule #3: TEAM

Maybe you’ve heard about our regular check-in. It’s our daily practice to make sure we connect, get things off our chests, and remind each other why we chose one another. It’s a lifesaver to ensure your day doesn’t become constant nagging.

We (maybe like you) were incredibly busy, with tanks on E, and not enough time for each other. This takes just 10 minutes a night:

T – Touch. Hold hands, sit next to each other on the couch. Remind yourselves with touch you’re in this together. (Sidenote: When Chris and I are mad at each other we jokingly barely touch one fingertip like ET.)

E- Education. You each share one thing you learned that day that was interesting. A fact. A hard truth. Whatever. It’s a chance for novelty and endorphins by expanding our brains.

A – Appreciation. You each share one thing you appreciate about the other. Could be how beautiful your partner looks that day. If you’re ticked, it could be that they took out the trash. Only rules are points for creativity and you can’t keep using the same one.

M – Metrics. Here’s the tough part. Usually when you’re upset, you tell them in the moment. That gets naggy 321 times a day. With the check-in, you wait or write it down and bring it to this time. It means you don’t fight when elevated but you always get to explain your point.

Metrics was huge for us. We let cooler heads prevail, now we kind of treasure our check-in.

Rule #4: Us vs The World

Chris is especially good at siding with me. He jokes he likes to “choose sides.”

I had to learn this a bit more. But now whenever we do something for each other or need to choose a side we just say, “Same team.” It’s a reminder that it’s us against ‘em all.

Rule #5: Use safe words

Not that kind (my Dad reads this, you nasties).

Couples always compromise and go to the in-law’s event, or the company meeting, or the friend’s wedding. There’s a societal expectation that your significant other has to like and want to do everything you do.

Throw that away.

Once we gave each other permission to bail, we got a lot happier. We have a safe word, and when we’re really done with something we slip it into conversation (ahem, pufferfish), and it means we bail as a couple.

Remember, same team.

Rule #6: Get a pro

I like coaches.

I hate wasting time when I can steal someone else’s 10,000 hours. Chris is the same. So we’ve always had marriage therapists.

Men: you could really learn something here. Chris is a dude’s dude, but he’s all-in on therapy because it makes us stronger not weaker. Get a pro, steal their homework.

Rule #7: Two-Week Rule

We’ll never go two weeks without seeing each other. With our schedules, that can be tough. But it’s the rule.

That means we usually travel together, work together, workout together. He is my person, and we want to experience life together.

If you don’t, you’re like two petri dishes with different inputs. You grow differently. We want to grow together.

Rule #8: Love language

The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. This woo-woo book is real.

Chris likes acts of service, I like physical touch. Read the book and try to not Do Unto Others As You Would Like, but instead do unto them as THEY would like. Small but big difference.

Rule #9: In the trenches

There’s a saying that people in the military say: “We’ve been in the trenches together.” Meaning you’ve been through difficulty together, and that trial strengthens bonds.

It’s the same with marriage, so at least once a year we do something really f-ing hard together. Build a business. Try to have a kid. Climb a mountain. Iron sharpens iron.

Rule #10: Keep it safe, keep it secret

You won’t find us saying things like “the ol’ ball and chain,” or “ugh, my husband did xyz.”

We keep it safe, we keep it secret. There will be problems, but talking to others about it does nothing but allow others into your marriage. No parents, no friends, we’re not into physical or mental polyamory thank you very much.

Rule #11: Temperature gauge

One therapist taught us something really cool. She called it our temperature gauge.

You know how when you start feeling triggered, you can feel it in your body? Your chest tightens, or you grind your jaw, or wrinkle your nose, or start to feel hot, or want to escape? All signs you’re getting elevated.

We’ve been learning how to notice them and then say simply, “Hey, I feel myself getting a little amped, can I calm down and we can circle back?” You take the blame, then your partner gets a willing audience on the back end.

Last rule: Who the f*ck knows.

We’re just doing our best. We’ve been together for 6 years, and known each other for 23 years. But I look at my grandparents and think, that’s the blink of an eye.

Let’s all check back in when we’re 80 and see how we’re doing then. Fingers crossed, eh? 🙂

---

Try it. A marriage done well is a superpower.

(Also – you could just do it for the insurance benefits? Or as our friends like to joke, I just married Chris for his veteran benefits.)

We don’t have to, we get to.

– Codie

⚔️ Would you rather pay $20k in legal fees, or settle things Medieval-style?

💵 Know how much cash on-hand your biz has? Berkshire’s got over $147B​

🏚️ 4 out of 5 Americans believe it’s a bad time to buy a house. Agree?

🍏 Some serious innovation happening at Apple. Not that it matters​

☠️ “Worst things to hear from a CEO,” brought to us by WeWork

Ready to become part of the Contrarian crew?

There are 2 ways to join:

✔️ Enroll in our Small Business Acquisitions Course. It’s like an MBA – but actually useful and can be completed within 1 month! Learn how to build freedom and income through “boring business” acquisitions.

✔️ Apply for the Unconventional Acquisitions Mastermind. Buy your first (or next) business with our expert guidance, support, and accountability. Check out the incredible results you can achieve here.

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Disclaimer – This is the “Be an adult” section. Everything mentioned above isn’t advice, just a recount of what I did. That said: This article is presented for informational purposes only. The opinions stated here are not intended to recommend any investment or provide tax advice. Neither are they an offer to sell or the solicitation of an offer to purchase an interest in any current or future investment vehicle managed or sponsored by Codie Ventures, LLC or its affiliates. All material presented in this newsletter is not to be regarded as investment advice, but for general informational purposes only. Day trading and investing do involve risk, so caution must always be utilized. We cannot guarantee profits or freedom from loss. You assume the entire cost and risk. You are solely responsible for making your own investment decisions. We recommend consulting with a registered investment advisor, broker-dealer, and/or financial advisor. If you choose to invest with or without seeking advice from such an advisor or entity, then any consequences resulting from your investments are your sole responsibility. By reading/sharing this newsletter or consuming our content on our other channels, you are indicating your consent and agreement to our disclaimer.

Hey Contrarians,

People obsess about stocks vs Airbnb vs ecommerce.

The truth is, you can make millions doing just about anything. We know a guy who became a billionaire selling chicken byproduct. Yuck.

What you can’t do? Become a millionaire when the life you live doesn’t lend itself to wealth.

Sometimes making money isn’t about the tactic: it’s about the habit.

Let’s look at some small decisions that compound to big results.

Today in 10 minutes or less, you’ll learn:

✔️ Contrarian framework: The $1,000/hr Test

✔️ 13 habits so you can DO LESS

✔️ You don’t want to be rich

CONTRARIAN FRAMEWORK: THE $1,000/HR TEST

When building, NOT all tasks are created equal.

Some are $10 tasks. Gnats buzzing in your ear. Low-ROI functions that consume time without adding much value. Think: replying to emails, updating tasks in Notion, bookkeeping.

Then there are $100 tasks. Dogs staying loyally at your side. You’ll see returns, but these things aren’t supercharging the biz. Think: sales & marketing, customer relations, design.

Finally, the golden $1,000 tasks. The white whales we hunt. This is the work with immense potential to build a brand people want in their lives. Think: product creation, partnerships, high-level decisions.

Sort all the tasks you do into these three buckets: $10, $100, and $1,000.

Now, we Marie Kondo this sh*t.

Keep what brings you joy, then delegate (or discard) the rest.

What brings me joy? Well, usually the stuff that makes millions of dollars.

So I embrace high-ROI tasks with passion. I hire thoughtfully. And then I dump $10 and $100 work off my plate.

Do this, and you’ll unlock wins you only dreamed of when you started.

It’s one thing to remove items from your plate. It’s another to completely change how you set up your plate. You won’t see the growth you want ’til you instill the right habits…

13 HABITS SO YOU CAN DO LESS

1. DO THE THING YOU WANT TO DO LEAST FIRST.

Maybe you know you have to have a hard conversation with an employee.

Or you need to do a financial review deep in the spreadsheets.

Or you’re due for a tough workout.

And you’d rather sit in the middle row on a Spirit flight than do any of it.

Don’t just do it. Do it first.

Get this out of the way, and you’ll have a clearer path for the rest of the day. Struggle early, and the rest of the day feels like dessert.

2. CHECK FINANCES DAILY.

Numbers tell a story.

Whether it’s your bank account balance or your net worth, take a snapshot to track your progress. (Or see where to cut costs).

3. STOP 60-MINUTE MEETINGS. 45 MINUTES OR LESS.

Picture this: You’re the CEO, and you’re gathering your team for a meeting. Instead of dragging it out for an hour (cue blinking faces on mute), keep it snappy at 45 minutes or less.

You’ll be amazed at how much more productive and engaged everyone becomes when they know there’s a deadline for discussion.

And the best incentive for your team to get stuff done? Give them time back to actually do the thing.

4. CHANGE ONE MEETING A WEEK TO A WALKING CALL.

I’ll just say this. You get sh*t done, get some exercise, and get to watch how excited the other members become. There are loads of studies recording how beneficial walking meetings can be.

Or the ultimate cheat – take a meeting in the sauna. This is boujee as hell, but I try to hold at least 1x call a day in the sauna (no video, I’m not a complete psycho).

It helps me detox, and then I don’t have to stare at another Zoom screen. Neither do they.

5. NO MEETUPS ON SCHOOL NIGHTS.

I treat myself like a schoolchild. I try not to have “activities” on school nights.

If I do, I mandate not more than 1x a week.

“Codie, do you want to see a movie and get dinner Wednesday?”

Nope, I’m in build mode right now.

You’re not boring. You’re building. And freeing up time to spend with people that matter.

6. ALWAYS THE STAIRS, NEVER THE ELEVATOR.

Both literally and figuratively.

Opt for the harder route, embrace challenges, and push yourself out of your comfort zone. You’ll learn so much about yourself and what you’re capable of. Maybe corny, but it’s still sage advice.

7. NEVER WRITE TO-DOS IN STONE.

When’s the last time you heard a successful person say, “Ah, I did everything on my to-do list today”?

If they say that, they’re successful and a liar.

Here’s the secret: you’ll be 10x more productive if you reorder daily.

Instead of creating a rigid list, prioritize your daily tasks based on urgency and impact. Be adaptable, and you’ll dance through your tasks like me after mezcal.

It’s not about blind productivity. It’s about getting one step closer to your goals every day.

8. NO SOCIAL MEDIA, EMAIL, OR TEXT WHEN YOU WAKE UP.

I’ve learned this is one of the hardest codes to crack. But again, this is about building habits.

Start by choosing 2-3 days during the week when you won’t do this.

Here’s what to do instead. Use that time and:

• Read a book
• Review your goals
• Write what you’d tell 18-year-old you
• Reflect on lessons that could be a good tweet (or Xeet – whatever the hell is going on over there)

I guarantee any of these are a better start to your day than opening the floodgates of Slack, catching up on Twitter’s latest shenanigans, or seeing if anyone’s still on Threads.

Set the day’s tone.

9. ADD A ‘HOW VS. WON’T’ CHECK-IN.

We often tell ourselves, “that WON’T work.” Instead ask, “How could that work?”

Where are you saying “won’t” to yourself? I won’t reach $100k this year. Buying a business won’t work. A side hustle won’t be worth it.

Let’s practice some reckless optimism. How could it happen?

Embrace creativity and explore solutions that might seem crazy at first. You never know; the most unconventional idea could be a winner.

10. DECENTRALIZE MANAGEMENT.

Do not hire a dog and then try to bark for it.

Be relentless in hiring and relaxed in oversight.

We review short & sweet scorecards every Friday. Low scores, we know what to improve on. High scores, we evolve from what’s working.

11. DO NOT BE THE ARROW, BE THE ARCHER.

The most important people to hire are your COO, CSO or Chief of Staff.

Instead of a command-down structure, create a Team of Teams.

No need to reinvent the wheel every time. Focus on being the visionary who assembles a team who are better at the things than you.

Repeat this phrase: “I tell you the goal, and you pick the path.”

When you put the right person in the right role, your job becomes a whole lot easier.

12. DON’T DROWN IN DATA.

K.I.S.S. (Keep it simple, stupid). More stats means more noise.

What are the 20% that drive the 80%? Pick the 3-5 stats that tell you whether your business is growing or decaying. Can’t read a scorecard in 60 seconds? It’s too complex.

Simple list of metrics sent daily in my content team’s Slack? Yes.

Whatever this madness is? Absolutely not.

13. BE THE DUMBEST ONE IN YOUR FRIEND GROUP, THEN MOVE ON WHEN YOU’RE NOT.

I get a lot of push back on this one. The Twitter and Instagram echo chambers claim this is horrible human behavior. Here’s my take:

As they say, “If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.”

By being the dumbest, you’re soaking up knowledge and using it as stepping stones. It’s like a game of intellectual leapfrog. You can still be friends and grateful for their wisdom.

Think of these more like “allies” than friends.

Friends will look at the 5,000th picture of your baby without pulling their hair out. Friends are down for cocktail parties and nights on the town. Friends will ask why you work so much. Friends say, “why don’t you just slow down?”

Allies, though. Allies tell you to keep f-ing going. They’re the wet blanket when you need it. They don’t accept anything but your best. Shared goals, shared vision.

New levels call for new allies.

YOU DON’T WANT TO BE RICH

You want to be free.

Too many entrepreneurs live in cognitive dissonance. They want a glamorous life, untouchable health, and fat bank account, but their lifestyle doesn’t match. They’re chained to their business like a job, drowning in stress.

Lord knows I still fall short, pull all-nighters, work in my business not on it, ask how when I should be asking who, and make my life harder than it needs to be. But I’m recovering. Because freedom is the point.

It’s freedom we all want.

Money can buy it, but freedom, paradoxically, also requires structure. Routine. Habits.

So make space to DO LESS.

We don’t have to, we get to.

– Codie

🌎 All the world’s billionaires = ~$11.8T. Guess how many individuals that is?

🎤 Paycheck (Taylor’s Version): Bonuses for all Eras Tour workers total $55M+

💸 Speaking of artists’ $$$… Money grows on royalties. Just ask Dolly.

🌮 Taco Bell lawsuit in the works. Reddit provides evidence: Exhibit A. Exhibit B.

🍺 Buzzkill: Anheuser-Busch axes 2% of staff, sales volume dropped 23.6% YoY

Ready to become a Contrarian?

There are 2 ways to get in the Crew:

✔️  Small Business Acquisitions Course:  A step-by-step framework on how to build freedom and passive income through SMB acquisitions. It’s like a mini-MBA, but one you’ll actually use (and at 1/100th of the cost!)

✔️  Work closely with us in the Unconventional Acquisitions Mastermind to buy your first, or next, business if you have a minimum of $50k to invest!

Did someone forward you this email?

Tell them we appreciate them. Then, get your own free subscription.

Interested in advertising with Contrarian Thinking?

Get in touch with our team. We’re currently booking into Q2.

Disclaimer – This is the “Be an adult” section. Everything mentioned above isn’t advice, just a recount of what I did. That said: This article is presented for informational purposes only. The opinions stated here are not intended to recommend any investment or provide tax advice. Neither are they an offer to sell or the solicitation of an offer to purchase an interest in any current or future investment vehicle managed or sponsored by Codie Ventures, LLC or its affiliates. All material presented in this newsletter is not to be regarded as investment advice, but for general informational purposes only. Day trading and investing do involve risk, so caution must always be utilized. We cannot guarantee profits or freedom from loss. You assume the entire cost and risk. You are solely responsible for making your own investment decisions. We recommend consulting with a registered investment advisor, broker-dealer, and/or financial advisor. If you choose to invest with or without seeking advice from such an advisor or entity, then any consequences resulting from your investments are your sole responsibility. By reading/sharing this newsletter or consuming our content on our other channels, you are indicating your consent and agreement to our disclaimer.